i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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