Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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