thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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