My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Randomize
