Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
