I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
