either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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