It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
