girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
