His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
