kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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