im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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