blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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