what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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