i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
