She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Welp...herpes.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
not ubering you a puppy
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
