Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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