Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize