Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
