Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
