She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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