I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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