Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sober January is a disaster.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize