problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I cannot find my penis.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
