ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize