More tranny stories later!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
FUCK WHALES
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
