I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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