She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
