What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
50% drunk capacity currently
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
