So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
