forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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