I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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