Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
