Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
