I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize