I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
