then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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