Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
