just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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