I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
