im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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