Sry I called you an 8
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
