She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
