I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have tasted many bathrooms
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
