3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
