Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
