WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
