plz talk dirty to me
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
