lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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