she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
