better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
