im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's rum buckets o'clock
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize