Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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