You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
