bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
4 words: hood of his car
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
