I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
