That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
