omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
