Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
