your room smells of hookers.
And success
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
