Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Shame - the story of my life.
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