You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
vagina is talking i cant
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
