so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
