I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
