FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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