just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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