Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
