we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
