she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Found your dick twin last night
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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