As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
