okay pat passed out under dana's car
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
