I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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