The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
