yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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