just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
