you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
