an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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