Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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